Thursday, 15 September 2016

WHAT'S THE RUSH ALL ABOUT


It’s FA cup time again, this week we are off to Rushall Olympic, in the West Midlands not far from Walsall. Walsall that brings back memories of handbag Harrington ripping a few new anal passages in the Walsall defence.

We have a few decent boozers nearby, but one we must aim for is the Black Country Arms in the centre of Saddlers country. Blessed with 16 hand pumps we are bound to find something we like. No doubt they will have some of their own brewery’s ales available, along with other local breweries, Backyard, Holdens, Kinver and Sarah Hughes. They also do some decent snaffle here, but there is a great fear amongst some of the PRATS, in the menu on the list of Black Country Specialities is Black Country faggots in rich onion gravy with creamy mash & mushy or garden peas. Do not let Pharp see that, I’m not too sure about the grey peas & bacon with a warm crusty baguette either, both potential master blaster fuel.

No Poppies away FA cup day would be complete without the Poppies horde thronging into the local boozer nearest to the ground or the clubhouse, you can’t beat a good throng. Throng, not to be confused with the apparel Citra and Pharp wear when they are gracing the beaches of Skeggy or Frinton on Sea. A throng is a ‘thong that is wrong’ and in Citra and Pharp’s case it is wrong, very wrong. It puts a whole new meaning to the term beach bum. If Pharp let’s rip whilst wearing his gonad hugging silk hankie with the bootlace chaffing deep into a place when no man has gone before or indeed would want to. The pitch is so high that it is inaudible to humans but all the dogs are whining and howling away in what sounds like strangled agony. On the odd occasion when Pharp has been for a dip, you don’t get the high pitch, it’s more like a Duane Eddy thwang.

Anyway, back to the Poppies throng, there are a couple of boozers near the ground, both within easy walking distance, firstly the Manor Arms which has 6 ales available, Banks’s ales and any of the plethora of ales that come out of the Marston’s portfolio, Hobgoblin, Ringwood, Wychwood, Jennings etc. could be available. Just along the canal-side is the Boathouse, a couple of ales here, it looks more like a family pub. There is a clubhouse, not sure if they have any ale available.

Where will we go on the way home?

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